Gone Crazy

The family and friends of this blog's author regret to report that he has gone crazy. That's not an official diagnosis, and yet they submit the following evidence as proof:

• He'd rather walk one mile to the church where he works than drive.
• He thinks convenience food is inconvenient.
• He has yet to play the new Wii the family got for Christmas.
• More often than not, he'd rather read a book than watch TV, which he can't even figure out how to turn on now that it's hooked up to both cable and Wii.
• He hasn't had a soda in over a month, preferring water instead.
• He gets way too upset when something breaks or is lost, even if it is something cheap that can easily be replaced by buying a new one.
• He actually thinks that having only one car for the family is a good thing.
• He thinks dinner should take longer than five minutes. Who has the kind of time?
• He doesn't like to buy new things. What kind of American doesn't like to buy things?
• He uses his own cup when he gets green tea at It's A Grind, even though they will give you a paper cup for free, and even double-cup it so you don't burn your hands.

If further proof is necessary, then consider how he wakes up at sunrise even on a day when he has nothing planned, or how he says he doesn't know yet if he'll watch the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl! Who doesn't watch the Super Bowl?

Unfortunately, it isn't clear what can be done with him. Most likely, you'll find him back here next week, rambling on about more of his crazy thoughts and ideas.