September 10, 2005

Happy Endorphins

Well, I think I figured out part of my problem. It came to me today while I was working out. It was the first time I'd worked out in over a week, but while I was working out, I was thinking about the past week. On Thursday, I took my 8 year-old to the doctor to see if we could get him on some medication, to correct what may be a chemical imbalance in his brain. We were thinking ADHD, but the doctor thinks anxiety, so we came home with a generic form of prozac. Will it work? Who knows? And yes, it's possible that we're getting medication for Ethan in order to treat a condition that exists in one or both of his parents. I know this.

However, I also realized that, because I haven't worked out this week (until today), and because I haven't taken time off --- my sabbath rest --- the chemicals in my own brain are out of balance. I need that mental break (which often comes when I'm working out or jogging along the rice fields) in order to get the chemicals in my own brain in balance. I need --- in fact, I daresay I'm almost addicted to --- the release of those "happy endorphins" that working out and taking time off provides me. And this week I didn't get it, and so I'm in withdrawal.

OK, I know I probably shouldn't use the language of addiction, that perhaps I don't really know what a true addiction is. But I do know what I need, what I've been missing. And I'm going to work harder to get it. I hope.

Well, I've gone ahead and turned on "word verification" for those who leave comments. I've spent too much time deleting comments that are nothing but links to other websites, websites which, I might add, are not the type of websites I'd like to be promoting. I don't know if this will solve the problem, but we'll see. It just means that if you want to leave a comment, you just have to jump through an extra hoop. Maybe after awhile, I'll be able to deactivate it.

1 comment:

a journey said...

I found your site from RLP's site. What you say about "happy endorphins" is very true. After the birth of my third son, I struggled with depression. Running was the therapy that got me through it and kept me balanced for the next 10 years. I was injured in an accident 16 months ago and I cannot run yet do to leg injuries ... I miss the "happy endorphins."