The Monsters Are Coming

Knott's Berry Farm is looking for a few good monsters. Been there, done that.

It was just days after my honeymoon. I stood in a long line outside Knott's Berry Farm, and was ushered into the theme park theater. In groups of ten, we were called up on stage, and given ten seconds to follow a certain prompt, acting like--well, a monster.

Some of those who auditioned went all out. They screamed, they flailed their arms, and ripped off their shirts. I never saw them again. Perhaps some things are too scary, at least when it comes to employers.

I was much more subtle. Mostly because I'm not an actor, and I'm not the kind of person who normally jumps up on stage to act like a monster. And that got me the job that everyone else seemed to want: Ghost Town streets.

I have to admit, it was fun. Roaming around the Ghost Town section of the theme park, weaving in and out of the crowd and the several dozen fog machines, while wearing a monster costume. It sure beat sitting in a small room working some prop for hours on end as visitors walked through a maze. And when I got tired, I could sit on a bench. For this year's monsters, here's a tip: sit as still as possible. Enjoy the rest as visitors walk up, wondering, "is it real?" Turn your head and send them running in terror. Then, to top it off, listen as your supervisor praises you for your "creative" scaring techniques.

I'm not trying out this year. In fact, I haven't been to Knott's Berry Farm since the year I worked there. But it sure does sound like fun, doesn't it?